I first apologize for my absence for a while. My mother passed away in August and I took some time for introspection and remembering.
Our brains are wired in such an amazing way. Whatever we think and speak about immediately become a target or goal for our subconscious mind. Once we entertain a thought or speak a word our mind takes it as instructions for what we desire whether its what we intended or not.
I am reminded of an experience involving my 20 year old son that illustrates this principle of the mind. When my son was five years old, he would at some point during dinner everyday spill whatever he happened to be drinking. Regardless of how many times I would warn him or REMIND him not to spill his juice or milk he would always spill it. This was so frustrating! Then one day it occured to me to apply at home what I was using at work everyday. One of the basic principles of the mind. So that very evening, at the dinner table before we all sat down to the meal, I said to my son keep your milk in the glass unless you are drinking it. Well... low and behold he didn't spill it the entire meal. I continued to speak that way there after and we no longer had the spilling problem.
Previously when I had been REMINDING him not to spill his drink, I had been creating in his mind images of a spilled drink which immediately became a goal or target for his subconscious mind. The ever faithful subconscious saw to it that the goal was achieved. Once the goal was changed, that of keeping the liquid in the glass unless he was drinking it, the behavior changed.
Are you giving yourself the wrong goals yet wondering why things continue to happen? Are you telling yourself in certain situations not to be nervous only to find that you begin to feel nervous? Change your images and words. "I am calm and ready for this." Try it and enjoy what the amazing subconscious can do when given the directions of what we truly desire. So often it is a matter of communication. When we are not feeling or behaving the way we desire, perhaps "What we have here is a failure to communicate"!